Posts:
2,220
Registered:
Mar 4, 2007
From:
San Francisco
Age:
45 Home page
off topic (about forum fights)
Posted:
Jan 19, 2010, 7:56 PM
I think that alot of the drama derives from me and Erik. I say something where often times im unaware that ive crossed some line that will result in a heavy back lash. perhaps in these situations Erik could private message me first explaining why i seem to be out of my mind for posting something, i then can reconsider editing/removing/apologizing for/or changing my stance on a matter. a way of defusing the matter privately. I'm willing to do this if you are E.
(i will say that E. has an absolutely amazing talent for arguing, a gift really, and i understand that he needs to find an out let for this, ok and maybe i do to)
now understand that this does not count for all dramatic occurrences in the forums, but that it can help to solve a bulk of it. as for the other situations, i recommend private messaging before publicly attacking in general for all forum participants. and, try to practice patients with others that are challenging to get across too. escalating rarely brings forth the best result as a whole for all parties concerned. i realize i must be sounding hypocritical for proposing that which i sometimes dont follow my self, yet what im saying does seem logical none the less to me.
some people react bad because of sensitivities, and some react bad for the pleasure to see another's reaction to it. one is more malicious than the other, but both are equal in effective damage to the integrity of the forum. the sensitive ones will be more apt to take this suggestion, as where the malicious ones will find the idea boring to their motives. some people fall into drama as a result of poorly managed emotions too tightly intertwined to the virtual world, others feed on drama as a life source of comfortable familiarity, excitement, challenge, entertainment, ext...
as a admin once told me, Pente.org tends to attract people with OCD. the same disorder that can drive us to play the same pente game over and over and over, can be the same disorder that propels us to fight in text, tic for tac, to win over the other, as if to try and win a debating lawyer game of intellects. there are perhaps other forums better suited to quench this thirst if your thirsty.
perhaps a listing of forums designed for volatile debating would be useful to post for those who get a rush from that.
at the same time though as for the sensitive people with emotions, its not always easy for people to separate their emotions from logic in a conversation publicly when asked to do so. it takes practice for some, and sometimes a 3rd party from the out side looking in to inform them what they dont see from the point of observation. we are all human, and we all learn things at our own speeds. some people require consequences to learn (ouch! i just burned my hand on this fire stuff, ok i wont touch it again because i didnt like it.) and some people see others get their hand burnt and say "wow that guy doesn't look happy, i think i will not do what he just did".
and yes, lets all try to retain a sense of humor, dont forget we are humans.
Me? And Zoey? We're the problem?
Posted:
Jan 20, 2010, 12:05 PM
Noooooooooo.......You don't say? lol....ok sorry for the sarcasm, but, well you know me fairly well. Yeah Z I'm all for what your last post iterated......I do have one tiny point that might be perceived as a bit to the contrary of the spirit of the whole can o' worms that calls for forum moderation. Actually I have gobs o' points to the contrary which I'll get into in the other thread but in this post I'll just make one. WOULD YA LOOK at how many views we have here?!?!?! Lmfao.....err, I mean lmfbo, I guess that makes me/us the porn of .org lol.....seriously tho, I don't think peeps can really fit us in the tiny box that seems to be the fashion of late. Zoey and I (among a LOTTA other peeps that come and go) CARE about this place and the game. Deeply. Try to disprove that if you think for a MINUTE that you can. Do we go too far at times? HELLZ YEAHHHHH!!!!! Does anyone have a gun pointed to their head compelling them to read what we've posted? Speak up if you do, because Frank Azar wants your number. Yeah it goes without saying that there's a point of diminished returns where everyone (including me and Z)gets sick and tired of being sick and tired of it, kinda like the discussions re: set-based ratings.......gawd did that ever get old after the first 16 pages lol. Who was the culprit who kept raising THAT toxic corpse of a topic from the kingdom of the dead time and again? Ohhhhh I remember NOW....it was ....we all know who it was lol. The same cat that's NOW advocating not bringing up old topics that have been beat to Hades and steam-rolled to oblivion.....or he'll be 'tempted' to {gasp!} get 'moderator' on yo' @$$. Anyway, sure lines got crossed, we went too far, blah, blah, snore, snore (belch), blah, blah, blah. Personally I trust the words of my old shrink who said in any close knit group theres gonna be arguing and if there's not, then some or all of that group just ain't being real. Profound indeed methinks. Very. Unfortunately at this time, the community is being called upon to put itself into a box ......wait I should stop here cuz I'm about to get into the stuff I need to post in the other thread re: forum rules. Yeah Zoe I'm with ya Dude and agree with aeverything you posted on that last'n
Posts:
542
Registered:
May 9, 2002
From:
Northeast USA
Re: off topic (about forum fights)
Posted:
Jan 20, 2010, 10:34 PM
Zoey, I think this is a great suggestion. If you feel personally offended by something in a written forum it might be a better solution to discuss the matter via PM with that individual. I know you and I have resolved disagreements in this manner and it has worked out well.
With that being said, please don't anybody attack and/or badger another user via PM just because you have an issue with them. Treat others with respect, even if you disagree with them. On the other hand, if you are attacked via PM, who cares? It's not public and you can simply ignore and/or delete such messages.
It's always better for the whole community if we can keep forum discussions to actual discussions about topics that might be relavent to the broad user base here and NOT to personal squabbles -- try to handle those in private as suggested.
